The Hardest Choices
by Stargirl4
Summary: Larry has left. Ally is faced by a hard decision regarding her relationship with Larry.
1. Loss

The Hardest Choices  
  
Sometimes the right choice isn't the most practical. And it's always the hardest one to make.  
  
  
Ally McBeal sat in her office, head in her hands. He's really gone, isn't he?, she thought desperately. Of course she was thinking about Larry Paul, her boyfriend until about a week ago, when he had moved back to Detroit after they ended their relationship. Ally had had serious boyfriends before, but Larry seemed different from all of them. Ally couldn't help but smile remembering the times they had spent together. And the weirdest thing was, in the middle of their relationship, she had felt for sure that it would work out. She was sure that they would spend the rest of their lives together. And yet here she was. Alone.  
  
You know, she contemplated, it wouldn't be so bad if he had done something wrong. If he had cheated on me, or even if I had cheated on him, then it would be easier to get over. But it was just there, and it was perfect. And then it ended.  
  
There was a knock on her door. As Ally jolted out of her daze, Richard entered. "You realize," he commented, "that I usually don't like to become involved in your relationships."  
  
"Since when?" asked Ally with a firm jaw.  
  
"Okay, so you're right. Anyway, I just wanted to see if you're okay."  
  
"I'll manage in time," she said sighing. "I just need to adjust and digest everything."  
  
"Ally?" Richard sounded serious now.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you want me to hire you a stripper?"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Oh, a male one of course. I just thought--"  
  
"Out!"   
  
Richard retreated towards the door. "Just thought I'd offer." Ally slammed the door in his face. She walked back to her desk and let her head fall on her table. The door started to open again.  
  
"Richard!" Ally picked up the clock on her desk and hurled it towards the door, where it was dodged by a laughing Renee.  
  
"Always a pleasure to have my mid-day exercise when I come to your office," Renee teased.  
  
"Sorry Renee, I thought you were Richard."  
  
"Oh no, don't apologize. It keeps me on my toes."  
  
"Ahem!" Elaine stood at the door, holding a slightly dented clock. "I believe this is yours, Ally." She handed the clock to Renee who placed it back on the desk and left, looking amused.  
  
"So, um Renee," began Ally, "what brings you here?"  
  
"We're going out to lunch, girl. No, don't even start to object. It's not an option."  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Ally sat slurping up her spaghetti without much enthusiasm. Renee sat across the table, watching her, every now and then bringing her fork to her mouth to take a bite of her pasta. "You know, you will move on." Renee consoled her friend.  
  
Ally looked up from her spaghetti. "I know Renee, I just need time. I am getting over Larry, it's just hard. It's going to take some time.  
  
  



	2. Advice from a Friend

  
A month had passed since Larry had left Ally. And Ally was right, she was beginning to heal. The gang from Cage and Fish were all downstairs at the bar. Mark and Elaine were dancing with each other on the floor as well as Richard and his latest fling. Richard and Ling had broken up a few weeks ago. There had been some sort of disagreement between them about socks. Ling didn't seem to like it when Richard wore his socks to bed. But everyone had suspected that they wouldn't last. They were too much like each other.  
  
Ally sat at the counter alone, just thinking about things. She felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up to see John looking down at her. "Care to dance?" he asked in his always kind voice. Ally stood up and looked into her friend's eyes as she let him lead her out to the dance floor.   
  
"Thank you, John," Ally whispered.  
  
"Just being a friend," he replied.  
  
"Did you know that I'm going on my first date since Larry left tomorrow?" she asked John. "Renee set me up with her friend. I don't expect anything to happen, but I'm actually going out."  
  
"You're strong Ally," John answered. "You've always been strong. Things come and go in our lives, but you've always been there facing up to them."  
  



	3. Tears

Ally sat on her bathroom floor, tears running down her face. How could so much change in 24 hours? She asked herself. She had already called Evan, her date, to say that she wouldn't be coming. He had been understanding even though she couldn't tell him why she canceled their date. All Ally wanted now was some time alone with her tears.   
It had been around noon that day when Ally realized she was late. She had left work early to go buy the test. But instead of coming home afterwards, she had walked the streets for hours. Ally knew that it was entirely possible. But when she finally got home, there was nothing more she could do to delay the inevitable. The test turned out pink. As in pregnant. Ally McBeal was pregnant with Larry Paul's baby.  
I'm pregnant, thought Ally in disbelief. The words still didn't make sense to her. The idea that there was another life inside her didn't seem possible. Her first impulse was to curl up on the bathroom floor and cry. Which she had already done to the best of her ability. Now she just sat thinking about it.  
What am I going to tell Larry? How am I going to tell Larry? Will he come back? Do I want him to come back? The questions flooded her mind. She knew that there was only one person she could turn to.  



	4. A Truth to Another

"I'm pregnant."   
John looked back at Ally silently, as she watched him expectantly from the chair in his office. He stood and circled the desk until he was in front of her. "Are you sure?" he asked.  
Ally bit her lip and nodded. The uncomfortable silence returned, engrossing the room with the sort of air a funeral gives off. John looked down at Ally thoughtfully. "Larry's?" Ally nodded once more. "I don't think it matters what I think. How do you feel about it?"   
"I'm scared, confused, and dazed all at the same time. I always wanted to have children, but with someone who I'm going to be with forever. Someone who's not in Detroit while I'm in Boston." She paused. "I'm keeping the child, John. That's not even a question to consider."  
John gently lifted her downturned head to look into her eyes. "You'll be a great mother, Ally. Have no doubt about that. And know this; whatever you do, I will always be there."  
Ally stood up and faced away from John. "That's... um... good." She laughed, the painful sort of laugh that occurs when one is forcing themselves to laugh about something, anything. "Actually, that's something I wanted to talk to you about." 


	5. The Hardest Choice

The phone rang and she waited. Finally, the someone she most wanted and most dreaded to talk to picked up. "Hello?" the voice on the other end said. With Larry's voice came all of the feelings that she had tried to bury over the past few months, yet she tried to squelch them and remember what she had to do.   
"Hey..." she responded softly.  
"Ally? Is something wrong? You don't sound right..." his voice was filled with the concern that Ally had always loved that he felt about her.   
"I have to tell you something..." Ally paused, not wondering if she could go on. "Larry... I'm pregnant."  
"Ohmigod. Ally, I'm coming back to Boston right away. We're going to be together, and we're going to raise this child together. I still love you, Ally." It was an offer she couldn't refuse. He would come back and everything would be perfect. She was still in love with Larry too. But somehow, she did.   
"Wait." Her voice penetrated across the line strongly. "Larry, it's not your child."  
"I don't' understand."  
"When you were in Detroit visiting your son, there was something I didn't tell you about. I slept with John. It's his child. We're going to raise it together. I just thought that you deserved the truth. Larry, I love him."  
It hurt Ally to feel Larry's pain, to hear the hurt in his words. "I see." Her heart broke. "I wish you all the best, Ally McBeal." And the line went dead.  
  
It was the right thing to do. Ally would always love Larry Paul. But perhaps the scariest thing to her, was that she knew that if he came back, he would stay forever. And despite their love, it would always be somewhat forced. If somehow she could ease his pain, make him believe that she had wronged, maybe there would be some hope for her happiness. Ally married John Cage. He was the ever-doting father. And Ally found that she grew to love John. But Larry Paul was forever in her heart.  
  
***Even the purest of love doesn't conquer all. Circumstances do matter. Sometimes we are forced to put aside love for other's sake. And when we are faced with such circumstances, we are faced with the hardest choices.*** 


End file.
